Dear People Who Insistently Yell Out Requests at Mellow Concerts -
Shut the fuck up.
No, really, shut the fuck up.
We're not impressed by the fact that you know the names of some of the artist's earlier work. We don't care that you can can rattle off titles of some of their rarer B-sides. Everyone in the building/arena is a fan of this artist. That's why we're all there. If, rather than listening to a favorite artist play their music uninterrupted, we wanted to challenge someone to a contest by which we could determine who was more aware of obscure deep cuts from old rock albums, we could always sign up to compete on "Rock and Roll Jeopardy." OK, I'm making that up, that show isn't even on the air any more. Do you know why? BECAUSE NO ONE GIVES A SHIT ABOUT SOME STRANGER'S KNOWLEDGE OF OBSCURE DEEP CUTS FROM OLD ROCK ALBUMS.
The point is, when you yell out the names of random songs, and everyone can hear you, you are actively interrupting a performance. You aren't the reason people have turned up, yet nonetheless, you are insisting on being the center of attention. You are forcibly intruding on what should be a communal, shared experience and turning it into a spectacle centered around you, even if only for a few fleeting moments.
Stop it.
Love,
Everyone Standing and Sitting Around You at Mellow Concerts
PS: Also, People Who Insist on Standing Up And Dancing Around Like Assholes at Concerts Where Everyone Else Has Mutually Agreed to Sit Down: Please die in a fire.
Posted via email from Lon Harris
